Adult, Couples, Children and Young People's Counselling in Leicester
Online Counselling (Skype, Telephone, Email)
Offers a safe and confidential counselling service
A faith and culturally-sensitive BME service
Islamic Counselling Service available (face to face or online)
Clinical Supervision for trainee & qualified counsellors /therapists
To start Counselling:
You can book in for an initial session, which will last for 1 hour.
This session will give you an opportunity to meet with Myira and identify your concerns.
It will also give you a chance to experience working with Myira in a session.
There is no obligation after the initial session to book in contracted counselling sessions.
Contracted counselling sessions will last for 50 minutes, on the same day and time, on a weekly basis.
To book your initial session:
Telephone: 07864 523 545
Mon, Tues, Thurs, Fri: 9am - 8pm
Wed: 9am - 12pm
Sat, Sun: By Appointment Only
Guidelines For Emergency Contact
Face to Face and Online Counselling cannot provide an emergency service for clients.
If you are currently experiencing an emergency or major crisis and were considering serious self-harm, it is vital to get immediate help.
This could include contacting your GP or your nearest A&E service.
You could also contact the Samaritans on 08457 90 90 90 or email firstname.lastname@example.org (emergency email support).
All personal information disclosed will be kept confidential and not used for any purposes other than a counselling record.
Coping with Father’s Day.
Father’s Day can be a special day of celebration with your father or as a father but what if this day reminds you of the difficult relationship you have or have had with your dad? What if your father is not around or has passed away? There is an expectation that it is a happy time for everyone, but for some it’s a time “to get through” and endure, with a longing for things to get back to the ‘normality’ of everyday.
Father’s Day can trigger a wide range of intense feelings, for a variety of reasons, such as the loss and grief from a father’s bereavement, separation from dad due to geographical distance, parent’s separation or breakdown in our relationship with our dad. The day can bring an intense spotlight on the nature of our relationship with our father.
If Father’s Day is difficult for you, give yourself support and self-care, to help you through the day.
Here are some tips on how to survive and cope with Father’s Day:
· Honour your feelings: Recognise and acknowledge your genuine feelings. All feelings are real and your experiences are valid and important. Just because feeling sad, hurt or angry is not reflected in the media or ads does not make them any less real or important.
· Express feelings creatively: By keeping a journal, writing a letter to your father or child, or creating a photo album/ memory box with keepsakes of your loved one supports expression of feeling.
· Plan ahead: Find ways to support yourself by planning what to do on that day, such as an activity which honors your genuine relationship and feelings. This could be visiting a shared memorable location or carrying out a family tradition, if the day is about honouring a deceased loved one.
· Decide what is best for your own self-care: If the day brings up feelings of a difficult or painful relationship, choose and decide what you want to do on the day itself, which is best for your self-care, rather than what is expected of you. Choose if or how you want to spend the time to celebrate the day with your father.
· Talk about it : If the day is affecting your mood, you don’t have to keep this to yourself. Share how you feel with your partner, family member or friend (someone who you feel safe or comfortable talking to). You may find this supportive and can help to lift your mood.
· Treat Yourself: If you feel that the day will leave you feeling left out of the celebrations, this doesn’t mean you can’t plan fun activities for yourself. Do something indulgent – have a warm and relaxing bath, read a book or watch a favourite movie – something that is comforting and nurturing for your own well-being.
· Avoid social media: It can sometimes feel that other people’s lives are splashed all over Facebook, Twitter, Instagram etc and on Father’s Day this can be felt more acutely, as we can be overwhelmed with seeing how other people are having the ‘perfect’ day amongst their family and loved ones. This can lead to comparisons between our internal feelings of loneliness, sadness or loss and other people’s external images of their happiness and joy, which may lead to feeling worse about our experiences and relationship. By limiting/avoiding social media sites, this can help to prevent the comparisons between you and others.
· Seek professional help : Most importantly this is a time to take care of your wellbeing and to keep yourself safe. If the day or your relationship with your father triggers painful feelings, which are overwhelming or difficult to cope with, seeking the help of a counsellor or psychotherapist could be extremely useful to support and help you work through your relationship.
Author: Myira Khan - Counsellor
Myira Khan is a qualified counsellor in Leicester providing both face to face and online counselling through her private service: www.myirakhancounselling.co.uk .
Myira was awarded the Deputy Prime Minister’s Mental Health Hero Award in February 2015 (the East Midlands regional winner) and went on to be announced as a Woman of the Year 2015.
Myira is the Founder of the Muslim Counsellor and Psychotherapist Network ( www.mcapn.co.uk ) which supports Muslim counsellors throughout their training and career development as well as working to end stigma and break down barriers around mental health within BME and Muslim communities.
Walking for Mental Health and My Walking Challenge for 2016
We all know that waking is good for our physical health but it is also great for our mental health and there is no better time to look after ourselves and start some self-care than now.
There are so many benefits of walking, including:
· Helping to collect your thoughts.
· Releasing endorphins which lift your mood, with 88% of people seeing an overall improvement in mood after going for a walk (according to a study by Mind).
· Reducing your stress levels.
· A soothing activity which reduces anxiety and depression.
· A fantastic natural anti-depressant shown to be as effective as anti-depressant medication for treating mild to moderate depression.
· Walking with someone else or in a group can help to overcome feelings of loneliness.
· Helping you to be physically fitter and can be a positive step towards greater self-confidence and positive body image.
Walking also gets us out into nature and can be a very therapeutic and spiritual experience. Walking for me feels as if I’m on holiday where I start to immediately feel more relaxed and stress-free, as if I am miles from home, from work, or from any stress I have. For me walking is a process of being in the moment, being mindful of my environment, and letting go. It’s a tranquil and spiritual experience for my mind, body and soul.
And there has been no better time for me to start walking again as we’ve just had National Walking Month and there were plenty of amazing walks to choose from. I’m also spoilt for choice as I’m near to both Rutland Water and the National Forest, and I have had the pleasure to visit both during the past few weeks, so it’s been the perfect opportunity to get outdoors and explore the wonderful nature right on my doorstep!
Walk 500 miles Challenge
To keep me motivated on my walks I’ve signed up to the #walk 500miles challenge (set by Country Walking magazine) to walk 500 miles (between 1st May until the end of 2016). This should help me to clock up the miles and get me out to as many different beautiful walks and scenery as possible!
To find out more information about the #walk500miles or #walk1000miles Challenge or to sign up to the challenge yourself, see here for further details: https://display.engagesciences.com/display/container/d/f28d4b95-c6e6-4d45-a9bf-ce6e8dd5a2df/details
I will be blogging my #walk500miles Challenge progress
throughout the year, so you can also check out where I’ve been walking, photos
of my walks, how far I’ve managed to walk each week and how it’s felt! If you
are doing a walking challenge or any other challenge/project for your own
self-care and mental health, I would love to hear about it!
#walkingformentalhealth #natureastherapy #walk500miles
Communicating with extroverts and introverts
I’ve mentioned throughout by blogs this week that communication in relationships is important. This is so you are able to share your thoughts and feelings, establish boundaries and express your needs to create safe, secure and healthy relationships.
However our communication styles differ and misunderstanding or miscommunication can lead to disconnection between people, leaving you feeling misheard, ignored, not understood or rejected. Not a happy place to be in a relationship.
One way to help improve better communication between yourself and other people is to understand the difference in communication styles between introvert and extrovert personalities and then how to communicate more effectively to the different personality types.
- Share their energy, feelings and excitement with all those around them.
- Equally enjoy speaking to others either in one to one or group situations with ease.
- Feel re-energised by their interactions with others.
- Prefer speaking to others rather than through written communication.
- Think out loud and so reply to quickly to questions or respond quickly to events going on around them.
- Share their energy, feelings and excitement with those close to them.
- Prefer to speak to people one to one.
- Feel re-energised by taking time out from social interactions and spending time in their own thoughts.
- Prefer to communicate through written modes rather than speaking out loud.
- Need time to process their thoughts first before sharing with others, and so may take time to respond to others.
How to effectively communicate to an extrovert, if you are an introvert:
o Have an awareness of an extrovert’s think out loud communication process. This doesn’t mean you need to respond directly to everything they say or that you need to respond in the same way. This is the way that extroverts process their thoughts, by talking out loud through the process.
o Pay full attention and actively listen when they are talking. They need to know you are listening without judgement, so they feel safe to be able to talk out loud.
o Allow for pauses and give yourself time to process what they have said.
o Be clear and direct in what you want to say. It doesn’t need to be a think out loud process however you may wish to communicate that you are thinking or reflecting upon what has been said and how you are feeling.
o Be aware you may feel overwhelmed by how much or how quickly a person talks and it may feel as if you are being talked at rather than a two-way interaction. It is ok to jump into the conversation and voice your thoughts or feelings and to be heard yourself.
o Be aware you may feel depleted in your own energy levels after what may feel like a deep conversation. Take time for self-care, to re-charge yourself.
How to effectively communicate to an introvert, if you are an extrovert:
o Have an awareness of an introvert’s thinking first-share second communication process.
o Allow space for the introvert to process thoughts before jumping in.
o Pay full attention and actively listen when they are talking. They need to know you are listening without wanting to say something and giving them the space to process the conversation.
o Take time in the conversation to explore the topic, rather than asking lots of questions ask one question and let them process the question and respond.
o You may wish to communicate via written notes, emails and texts, as a way to share your feelings and thoughts with them.
o Pick an appropriate time to have ‘deeper’ or serious conversations, as this will drain them. If they are already tired at the end of a long or difficult day, they will only become more exhausted during the conversation, which may lead them to shut down and not talk at all.
The points above are not to see others as one-dimensional or defining people just under the extrovert- introvert dimension, but as tips to help you to understand and communicate more effectively with others, if you feel that your communication styles differ, which will hopefully lead you to having closer and healthier relationships.
Award-winning Private Counsellor (Leicester and Online) www.myirakhancounselling.co.uk
Founder of the Muslim Counsellor and Psychotherapist Network (MCAPN) www.mcapn.co.uk
Mental Health Heroes Award Winner 2015