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What is Anti-Oppressive Practice? A Description & Definition

Wed, 08 Oct 2025 08:26:45 GMT

The Definition and Description of Anti-Oppressive Practice (Myira Khan 2025)

The Definition and Description of Anti-Oppressive Practice (see image)

( Myira Khan Counselling Working Within Diversity- Anti-Oppressive Practice - 2025)

Anti-oppressive practice isn’t something we do — it’s something we are.

It’s not a checklist or a set of techniques, but a way of being in relationship — reflective, relational, and rooted in awareness of power, identity and humanity.

My Working Within Diversity framework centres on this process of being:

✨ Attuning to ourselves and others

✨ Recognising power and privilege in our relationships

✨ Creating spaces where people might feel safe

✨ Moving beyond inclusion, towards equity and liberation

To practice anti-oppressively is to stay curious, compassionate and accountable — with ourselves and with those we work with.

From my book Working Within Diversity: A Reflective Guide to Anti-Oppressive Practice in Therapy

#AntiOppressivePractice #WorkingWithinDiversity #CulturalAttunement #AntiOppressivePractitioner #TherapyCommunity #Reflexivity #RelationalPractice #EquityAndLiberation #SocialJusticeInTherapy #EthicalPractice

June 2025 newsletter

Sat, 07 Jun 2025 11:58:16 GMT

Discover my book of the month, latest events, conferences and workshops plus reflections and resources!

Read the full June newsletter here: https://mailchi.mp/b16136d298c5/june-newsletter

January 2024 Newsletter

Tue, 16 Jan 2024 15:10:23 GMT

Read my latest newsletter!

January Newsletter

Read my latest newsletter here: https://mailchi.mp/40eaa5a99f4b/january-newsletter

#MuslimCounsellor #WorkingWithinDiversity #antioppressivepractice #antioppressivepractitioner

Why Agatha Christie is my Therapist and Supervisor

Tue, 29 Aug 2023 13:26:23 GMT

My internal therapist and supervisor helping me to work out why-dunnit!

Agatha Christie is my Counsellor and Supervisor, to being a 'detective therapist'.

I've always though that being a therapist is like being a detective! And then it makes complete sense why I love murder-mysteries and crime novels!

I read my first AC book at age 10 (Murder on the Orient Express & it's still my fave book of all time!) & I've been an avid crime fiction & AC super-fan since! And my own little grey cells have continued to grow, puzzle and reflect on life and people since then!

Reading all of her books have been instrumental to me becoming a counsellor. I've grown up with wanting to work out the mysteries, puzzles and whodunnits.... although its evolved from whodunnit's to now as a psychodynamic counsellor its all about why-dunnit (why do we relate in the ways and patterns that we do).

As Miss Marple, I sit, listen and observe (if I could cross-stitch or do some neddle-work at the same time I would although Miss Marple prefers to knit!).

As Poirot, I use my little grey cells to identify, explore and reflect on the pieces of narrative and lived experiences clients share.

As Columbo, I'm exploring and being curious of the why-dunnit (we already know the who!), why relate in the ways we do and what are the patterns and blueprints of relating and how have they been created.

I'm the shopkeeper from Mr Benn, magically appearing in front of Mr Benn (aka the client) once a week (ie per episode), to support the client to explore their life and go on an adventure/journey.

I'm Alice, falling down rabbitholes to explore different experiences, feelings or themes with the client and to dive deep into their world and lived experiences.

I'm also walking through the wardrobe every session, in to Narnia, to explore the client's world, both their internal world as well as the world out there and how they experience the world from their identity, intersectionality and lived experiences and relationships. How does the world look to them and how does the world relate to them in return?

So the crime novels of Agatha Christie & crime fiction have been a guide for me, to support me in exploring, excavating (AC was also a keen archeologist!), processing, reflecting & being curious about clients and their lived experiences, helping to work out and understand what is going on and looking at the situation from many different angles.

She lives as my internal counsellor & supervisor to me being a detective therapist!

#AgathaChristie #counsellor #supervisor #WorkingWithinDiversity #DetectiveTherapist

Supervision is selfcare

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Thu, 12 Jan 2023 17:51:21 GMT

Do you consider your supervision as part of your selfcare?

Supervision is a form of selfcare

Supervision is a vital part of my self-care practice as a counsellor and supervisor.

It helps me to reflect on & process all of my clinical work as well as the impact of the work on me.

I often get asked how I deal with the client material that I hear day in-day out and I always say that supervision, that containing & holding safe space for me and my experiences as a counsellor, is vital for dealing with that impact.

How does supervision help and support you?

#supervision #selfcare #TherapyThursdays #TherapistThursdays

My 2023 January books

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Thu, 12 Jan 2023 17:48:18 GMT

What are you currently reading?

My January 2023 reads!

I've jumped into 2023 with these three amazing books!

I used to be a one-book-at-a-time gal but now I enjoy having different books on the go, so I can dip in and out of any book, depending on my mood and what I feel like reading.

My current reads cover the topics of therapy client stories, developing self-compassion & getting organised as an ADHDer!

I highly recommend all 3 books but especially the Order From Chaos, as I'm already seeing its magical effects on my daily routine & email inbox (I got it down to ZERO emails!).

If you're struggling to capture your thoughts, organise your to-do list/tasks & not forget important tasks then this book is for you!

What are your current reads or recommendations?

#WednesdayWellbeing #WellnessWednesday #Books #Reading #Shelfie #BookReads #Reading #JanuaryBooks #selfcare #ADHD #organised #zeroinbox #selfcompassion

4 Parts of Anti-Oppressive Practice

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Thu, 12 Jan 2023 17:37:25 GMT

Does your anti-oppressive practice include all four?

4 Parts of Anti-Oppressive Practice

Anti-opressive practice must include all four:

Anti-oppressive Training

Anti-oppressive Therapy

Anti-oppressive Supervision

Anti-oppressive Self-care

If you offer anti-oppressive therapy, you must access and practice all of the other three complimentary parts to anti-oppressive therapeutic practice, for it to be truely anti-oppressive in its approach.

#WorkingWithinDiversity #antioppressivepractice #TherapyTuesdays

3 things to notice daily

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Thu, 12 Jan 2023 17:33:43 GMT

What are you noticing everyday?

3 things to notice daily

How can you attune to your own inner feelings?

How we feel changes thoughout the day.

We also need to notice what is going on & around us & how it impacts on how we are feeling.

Three things to notice daily to attune to how you feel throughout the day:

1. What energises you.

2. What you are grateful for.

3. What's draining you & why.

#SelfcareSaturday #selfcare

Setting 2023 intentions

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Thu, 12 Jan 2023 17:13:59 GMT

What are your 2023 intentions?

Setting your 2023 intentions

I prefer setting intentions at the start of each year, to help me identify HOW I want to be feeling and showing up in my life, work & relationships.

It beats setting up 'resolutions' of the 'shoulds' or 'musts' of how you think you ought to be!

How do you want to be showing up this year?

What needs your attention and energy?

#therapythursdays #AntioppressiveSelfcare

Back to work!

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Thu, 12 Jan 2023 17:10:09 GMT

What are you growing in 2023?

Back To Work

It's #backtowork week for many of us!

The start of the year means organising my schedule and getting prepped for teaching, clients, supervisees and various projects coming up over the next few months.

I'm particuarly excited for the launch of our Diploma in Supervision training course, starting this Saturday, and teaching my brand-new #WorkingWithinDiversity #antioppressive supervision model & practice.

What are you looking forward to in your work or own professional development this year?

How do you want to grow in 2023?

#diaryplanning #PreppingFor2023 #LifeOfACounsellor

Working within Diversity - coined September 2020

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Sat, 20 Nov 2021 18:50:09 GMT

Working within Diversity - the term, concept and model - coined by Myira Khan, September 2020

The term 'Working Within Diversity' and its emergent model and concept, was first coined by myself in September 2020.

I first publicly presented it at one of my workshops on 'Working with ethnically minoritised and marginalised communities' to a counselling service on 10th September 2020.

The term and the model of 'Working Within Diversity' has emerged from over 12 years of clinical practice and experience, as a Counsellor, Supervisor and Counselling tutor.

The term, and its model and concept, is now delivered through a series of workshops called the 'Working within Diversity' series.

For more details of upcoming workshops on 'Working Within Diversity' please see my events page.

#workingwithindiversity

Your Agenda

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Mon, 22 Mar 2021 08:30:01 GMT

Are you focusing on your agenda?

What are your goals, your dreams, your ambitions?

Then go and work on those.

That is your focus.

All else is wasted effort towards someone else's agenda.

#MondayMotivation #focus #wellbeing #selfcare #agenda #motivation #goals #dreams #ThinkBig #ShineBright

Visual Thinking

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Sun, 21 Mar 2021 08:45:01 GMT

A day at Camp Drawmore

Looking forward to a day of #visualthinking practice and learning, with my pals at #CampDrawmore and our amazing teacher and mentor @loosetooth (www.loosetooth.com)

Love applying visual thinking techniques to my work and projects - especially helpful to someone like me, when I use visuals to help me to plan and structure a workshop or training lesson.

#workshops #training #facilitation #facilitator #trainer #tutor #coaching

International Day of Happiness

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Sat, 20 Mar 2021 09:00:02 GMT

What makes you happy?

What is #happiness to you?

Happiness is . . .

#InternationalDayOfHappiness #SelfcareSaturday

World Sleep Day

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Fri, 19 Mar 2021 09:00:03 GMT

Sleep is vital for Mental Health and Wellbeing

Sleep is vital for good #mentalhealth & #wellbeing.

This means 7-8 hours of quality sleep every night.

Help yourself get a good night's sleep by creating an evening routine:

Stay off devices/screens up to 2 hours before sleep

Eat your last meal 2-3 hours before sleep

Engage in winding-down activities (reading, resting, meditation) in the evenings and to keep off devices.

#WorldSleepDay #wellbeing #wellness #selfcare

Looking after all of your Self

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Wed, 17 Mar 2021 09:00:03 GMT

Are you neglecting your Self?

How are you caring for your Self?

Are there areas of your Being - your Soul, Mind, Body - which you are neglecting or not paying enough attention to?

#WednesdayWellness #WellbeingWednesday #Selfcare

It's not your job to be everything to everyone

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Tue, 16 Mar 2021 09:00:06 GMT

Where is your energy going?

It is not your job to be everything to everyone.

What boundaries do you have in place?

How often do you say no to others & yes to yourself?

#TuesdayThoughts #Boundaries #HealthyRelationships

It's Monday - but you got this!

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Mon, 15 Mar 2021 09:00:03 GMT

#MondayMotivation

It's Monday BUT it's okay - you got this!

#MondayMotivation #MondayGoals

Handle the week

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Sun, 14 Mar 2021 09:02:08 GMT

New week tomorrow? You got this!

This is your sunday evening reminder that you can handle whatever this week throws at you!

#SelfcareSunday #SundayVibes #MondayMotivation

#Crafturday

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Sat, 13 Mar 2021 09:01:47 GMT

Craft for wellbeing

Another #NoPeopleDay - so today I'm spending my #SelfcareSaturday working on my #WIP #crossstitch projects.

Crafting has become hugely popular during lockdown - what craft projects have you started or continued to do during lockdown? Crafting is great to support our #wellbeing!

#selfcare #wellbeing #NoPeopleDay #craft #crafturday

What gets your energy today?

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Thu, 11 Mar 2021 09:00:03 GMT

Be mindful of what and who gets your energy today.

Working on my #writing today - what are you fcousing on? what is getting your energy today?

#ThursdayThoughts #ThursdayReflections #energy #vibes #writinglife #writer

Daily Reflection: 3 things to notice daily

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Wed, 10 Mar 2021 09:00:02 GMT

A daily reflection exercise when journalling

Daily reflections exercise for your journalling and daily journal routine:

3 things to notice daily:

1. what energises you.

2. what you are grateful for.

3. what's draining you & why.

#WednesdayWellness #WellbeingWednesday #DailyReflections

Connecting

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Tue, 09 Mar 2021 09:00:02 GMT

How much do you invest in your connections?

Looking forward to connecting with colleagues tonight at our regular #meetup.

#TuesdayThoughts #connections #networking #colleagues

Make your dreams so big!

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Mon, 08 Mar 2021 09:03:06 GMT

How big are your dreams?

If your dreams don't scare you, they are too small!

#MondayMotivation #goals #dreams #GrowToGlow

BookClub - Attached

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Sun, 07 Mar 2021 09:00:01 GMT

Book Club - Reading is Therapy

Looking forward to attending the MCAPN #bookclub today - discussing the book Attached - all about attachment styles, patterns and relationships.

#selfcaresunday #bookclub #relationships #patterns #attachment

Weekend loading . . .

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Fri, 05 Mar 2021 09:00:02 GMT

Weekend vibes . . .

Weekend loading . . .

How is your weekend shaping up?

#FridayFeelings #WeekendVibes #selfcare #wellbeing

World Book Day - Reading is Therapy

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Thu, 04 Mar 2021 08:30:01 GMT

Reading is great for your mental and emotional health

Reading is important for your mental health and wellbeing.

Reading lowers stress by 68%.

Reading is a workout for your memory, imagination and heart.

Reading can help boost your mood, help you relax and bring people together.

#WorldBookDay #ReadingIsTherapy #Wellbeing #Selfcare #EmotionalHealth #MentalHealth

Wellness

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Wed, 03 Mar 2021 08:47:15 GMT

What are you doing for your wellness?

What are you doing for your #wellness today?

I've recently taken up yoga again, first thing in the morning before work, and it makes such a different to my mental, emotional and physical energy and stamina throughout the day!

#WednesdayWellness #WellbeingWednesday #wellbeing #yoga

March Intentions

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Tue, 02 Mar 2021 09:02:09 GMT

What are your intentions for the month?

What are your March intentions?

#monthlygoals #monthlyintentions #tuesdaythoughts #selfcare #wellbeing #goals

Hello March

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Mon, 01 Mar 2021 09:00:05 GMT

New month - new goals?

What are your goals for this month?

#HelloMarch #MondayMotivation #March #MonthlyGoals

No People Day

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Sat, 27 Feb 2021 08:30:01 GMT

Do you schedule a 'no people day' for your selfcare?

Having a 'no people day' today! :)

Meaning that I don't have any meetings, zoom calls or plans to meet anyone today!

An entirely empty diary!

Which if you are an introvert, or know one, you'll know what bliss this is! :)

How often do you schedule a 'no people day' for yourself?

What would you do on your 'no people day'?

A 'no people day' is defintely a part of your selfcare and a chance to rest, relax and recharge!

I'm planning to spend the day curled up on my sofa, read some books and catch-up on some TV shows.

#selfcaresaturday #nopeopleday #introvert #INFJ #selfcare #wellbeing #weekendvibes

Be a lot more YOU

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Fri, 26 Feb 2021 08:00:02 GMT

Be More YOU!

Be a lot more YOU and a lot less them.

#fridayfeeling #shinebright #playbig #weekendvibes

Diversity and Inclusion panel - Diversity training

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Thu, 25 Feb 2021 09:00:04 GMT

On the panel for the Diversity and Inclusion Coalition - Diversity and Culture training

Looking forward to being on the panel for the 'Diversity and Inclusion Coalition', on behalf of the MCAPN (Muslim Counsellor and Psychotherapist Network) - discussing diversity and cultural training on counselling and psychotherapy courses.

#diversity #culture #representation #intersectionality #thursdaythoughts

Grateful for endings

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Wed, 24 Feb 2021 09:00:02 GMT

Can you be grateful for endings?

Be grateful for endings, as they allow for new beginnings.

#WellbeingWednesday #WednesdayWellness #wellbeing #selfcare

Children's Mental Health Webinar

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Tue, 23 Feb 2021 09:15:01 GMT

Webinar tonight!

Looking forward to speaking at the Muslim Mental Health Coalition webinar tonight on Children's Mental Health on behalf of the MCAPN - Muslim Counsellor and Psychotherapist Network.

See www.mcapn.co.uk for webinar details.

#MuslimMentalHealth #MuslimCounsellors #MuslimCoach #ChildrensMentalHealth

Creativity

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Sun, 21 Feb 2021 11:00:01 GMT

How are you exercising your creativity?

Another Sunday which means another chance to catch up with my 'visual thinkers' tribe.

I love co-working with them, as we get the chance to practice our visual thinking skills to work on projects and products.

What are you doing to exercise your creativity?

Do you take a class or have 'craft' hobbies?

What creative practice would you like to do or start up?

#selfcare #sefcaresunday #craft #creativity #visualthinker #visualthinking

Follow Grow To Glow on Twitter @growtoglow_flow and on Instagram @growtoglow.flow

Love Your Pet Day

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Sat, 20 Feb 2021 10:00:01 GMT

Pets support our wellbeing.

I love my pet!

Or should I say pets. . . even if they are fish in an aquarium in my therapy office, they still bring me a sense of peace, calm and relaxation ��

How do your pets support your wellbeing?

#LoveYourPetDay #selfcare #wellbeing #selfcaresaturday

Follow Grow To Glow on Twitter @growtoglow_flow and on Instagram @growtoglow.flow

Visual Thinking & Friday Feelings

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Fri, 19 Feb 2021 19:46:10 GMT

What skills are you learning?

I'm so looking forward to another meet-up and class at our virtual 'Camp Drawmore' tomorrow with the amazing Brandy Agerbeck (loosetooth.com).

I'm learning so much about Visual Thinking & applying this to all of my projects, workshops & teaching!

I always was a visual thinker but I never knew how much I used visual thinking to help me plan projects, thinking through processes and develop and teach my workshops and courses.

What skill are you working on this year? What is a skill or strength you would like to hone?

#fridayfeeling #visualthinking #visuallearner #creativity #facilitation #workshops

Follow Grow To Glow on Twitter @growtoglow_flow and on Instagram @growtoglow.flow

Random Acts of Kindness Day

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Wed, 17 Feb 2021 09:15:01 GMT

How are you going to show kindness today?

It's #RandomActsofKindnessDay - how you are going to show a kindness to someone today?

It doesn't need to be an expensive or grand gesture - a simple kindness through words and actions can make a big difference to you and them.

#wellbeingwednesday #wellbeing #selfcare

Follow Grow To Glow on Twitter @growtoglow_flow and on Instagram @growtoglow.flow

February's Selfcare Cafe

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Tue, 16 Feb 2021 09:00:03 GMT

February's Selfcare Cafe - This Thursday!

This Thursday is our February Grow To Glow Selfcare Cafe!

A space for discussion, reflection & growth on themes about selfcare, wellbeing & personal development.

Theme for February: Self-care Relationships.

Free to attend.

To book email myira@myirakhancounselling.co.uk

#selfcare #wellbeing #selfcarecafe

Energy and Monday Motivations

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Mon, 15 Feb 2021 09:00:06 GMT

Are you thinking about how you want to show up this week?

How are you intentionally showing up for this week?

What energy are you bringing into the spaces and rooms you share with others?

How do you want the spaces and people to feel when you leave?

#MondayMotivation #feelings #intentions #wellbeing #selfcare

Follow Grow To Glow on Twitter @growtoglow_flow and on Instagram @growtoglow.flow

Self-love on Valentine's Day

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Sun, 14 Feb 2021 09:30:01 GMT

Shower yourself with some self-love this Valentine's Day

On #valentinesday which spotlights love in a relationship with another person, instead how are you showering love on yourself today?

You are worth giving yourself some of your own love!

#selfcaresunday #selfcare #wellbeing #love #relationships

Follow Grow to Glow on Twitter @growtoglow_flow and on Instagram @growtoglow.flow

Coffee + Books = #SelfcareSaturday

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Sat, 13 Feb 2021 09:15:01 GMT

What are your ingredients for a #SelfcareSaturday?

It's Saturday so that means some #selfcare via a steaming mug of coffee & a good book to read!

What is your current read?

Being a member of 3 bookclubs I'm not short of reading material!

I'm currently reading Everything Under by Daisy Johnson @djdaisyjohnson which I'm absolutely loving!!! ♥️

#selfcaresaturday #reading #coffee

Details of the LCPC BookClub where we are reading Everything Under is listed under ' Events '.

Follow Grow To Glow on Twitter @growtoglow_flow and on Instagram @growtoglow_flow

Skincare is Selfcare

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Fri, 12 Feb 2021 09:30:01 GMT

Make your skincare routine part of your selfcare routine

Skincare is Selfcare.

Adopting a regular routine and taking your time with your skincare each day is an act of #selfcare.

It's a feedback loop & message to yourself of your #selfworth & #selfvalue.

You are worth that time & attention.

#relaxation #mindfulness #FridayFeelings

Follow Grow To Glow on Twitter @growtoglow_flow and on Instagram @growtoglow.flow

Connections

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Thu, 11 Feb 2021 09:30:01 GMT

How are you connecting to others?

How are you intentionally connecting with others?

How are you nurturing and fostering your relationships?

What are you feeding them?

Love, attention, affection, connection, empathy, openess and vulnerability?

#Relationships #Connections #ThursdayThoughts #wellbeing #selfcare

Follow Grow To Glow on Twitter @growtoglow_flow and on Instagram @growtoglow.flow

The pursuit of happiness

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Tue, 09 Feb 2021 16:07:29 GMT

What is your happiness attached to?

Happiness is a false pursuit.

Practice gratitude and within it you will find happiness.

What are you greatful for right now, today?

Embrace your happiness for that blessing!

#TuesdayThoughts #wellbeing #selfcare #gratitude #happiness

Follow Grow To Glow on Twitter @growtoglow_flow and on Instagram @growtoglow.flow

Hello February

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Tue, 09 Feb 2021 09:24:26 GMT

New Month - New Intentions

So after what felt like 16 weeks of January, we finally arrive in February!

What does this month hold for you?

What are going to focus on?

Do you have any goals or intentions for this month?

How are you intentionally wanting to show up in your life this month?

#HelloFebruary #wellbeing #selfcare

Follow Grow To Glow on Twitter @growtoglow_flow and on Instagram @growtoglow.flow

February Intentions

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Tue, 09 Feb 2021 09:19:17 GMT

February intentions

What are your February intentions?

What needs your energy and attention?

How will you show your Self some #selfcare?

#monthlyintentions #energy #selfcare #tuesdaythoughts

Follow Grow To Glow on Twitter @growtoglow_flow and on Instagram @growtoglow.flow

October Intentions

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Fri, 02 Oct 2020 16:52:22 GMT

Setting intentions for October

Setting your intentions for October.

It's not just about setting goals, as that's a focus on the finish line, but by identifying your intentions, then that's you setting your starting point right now - how do you want to show up in your life? How do you want to engage in your relationships and all areas of your life?

#GrowToGlow #wellbeing #selfcare #intentions #energy

Follow Grow To Glow Therapeutic Coaching on Twitter @growtoglow_flow and on Instagram @growtoglow.flow

Weekly Intentions

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Mon, 17 Aug 2020 11:09:22 GMT

Setting your intetions for the week #MondayMotivation

What are your intentions for the week?

Be mindful of your energy - what energy is flowing in to you and out of you.

Be intentions of the energy you are bringing into areas of your life - your work, your rest, your relationships.

#energy #intentions #weeklyintentions #Flowfilment #GrowToGlow #MondayMotivation #TherapeuticCaoching

Follow Grow To Glow on Twitter @growtoglow_flow and on Instagram @growtoglow.flow

Valuing WHO you are over WHAT you do!

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Fri, 07 Aug 2020 13:27:59 GMT

Are you valuing WHO you are over WHAT you do?

Are you valuing WHO you ARE over WHAT you DO?

You are more than your job, your relationships, your family and friends, your hobbies, your holidays, your instagram feed!

WHO you are is valuable - all of your value is already inside of you - not what is on the outside!

#wellbeing #selfcare #selflove #selfvalue #selfesteem #fridayfeelings #growtoglow #therapeuticcoaching

Relationship with Self

Sun, 19 Jul 2020 11:16:41 GMT

How are you relating to your Self? Are you feeding your Self SoulFood?

Relationship with Self

So often we when we think about relationships, we think about our relationships with other people. But have you and do you think about the relationship you have with your Self?

We know that for relationships to work, to be healthy, to be fulfilling, we need to invest time, energy and attention into them.

So how much time, energy and attention are you investing in your Self and your relationship with your Self?

Also what is the quality of that time, energy and attention? Are you talking, speaking and treating your Self kindly and compassionately?

Are you giving your Self the same quality of love, care and kindness that you show, give and invest in your external relationships to family, friends and partner?

The emotional, mental, spiritual and physical energy we feed our relationships is what I call Soul Food. It's food that feeds our souls and the heart and souls of our relationships.

So what type of Soul Food are you feeding your Self? What is the quality of the Soul Food?

Are they kind words, thoughts and actions? Are you feeding your Self nuturing and nutrient-rich Food, which will allow you to flourish, blosson and glow?

3 Steps towards SoulFood:

1. Keep a Journal

- by keeping a daily journal you can start to see how you think about yourself and what quality of thoughts you are feeding yourself.

- start identifying where you are feeding your Self healthy and unhealthy SoulFood in different areas of your life.

- start identifying where there may be patterns in the types of healthy and unhealthy SoulFood you are feeding your Self, perhaps negative thoughts to do with your body, or your career, or your relationships?

2. Keep a Gratitude Journal

- each evening write a list of 10 things you are grateful for that day.

- this is a feed of good, nuturing SoulFood and also a way to start rewiring your thoughts to shift them from negative to positive thinkng. The more you do this, the more it will become a habit to think positively towards yourself.

3. Practice Self-care

- start identifying where you are able to practice self-care and what areas in your life you find it difficult to practice self-care.

- take small steps towards practicing self-care on a daily, regular basis. This may be taking an extra 5 minutes each day for yourself when getting ready in the morning, or taking extra time with your skincare routine, or when eating breakfast. This is not only healthy and positive SoulFood but you are also sending your Self the positive message that you worth this time, care and attention.

#SoulFood #relationships #self #soul #SoulRelationship #SelfRelationship #Journal #Journalling #GratitudeJournal #GrowToGlow

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July's Book Group

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Sun, 19 Jul 2020 10:51:17 GMT

Join us on Thursday 30th July - for a discussion on Relationships, Attachments and Attachment Patterns

July's Book Group - Thursday 30th July

6pm-7.30pm

Email myira@myirakhancounselling.co.uk to book your free place.

Grow To Glow Book Group is a space to come together and discuss a particular topic or issue.

The best bit - you don't need to have read the book of the month!

The book is used for reference or a recommendation if you are interested in the topic further and wanted to read more on it.

This month we will be discussing all things about Relationships, Relationship patterns and blueprints, Attachments and attachment styles and how we can start to understand our own blueprints and patterns.

If you would like to join us, please email myira@myirakhancounselling.co.uk to book your free place.

#GrowToGlow #Relationships #Attachments #attachmentpatterns #relationshipcoaching #transference #BookGroup

Malan's Triangle of Person - Repeated relationship patterns

Sun, 19 Jul 2020 10:45:24 GMT

Our relationship patterns are repeated with everyone we meet.

Malan's Triangle of Person

Understanding our relationship blueprint is important to know how and why we react the way we do in present-day relationships.

Our relationship blueprint, patterns, expectations and assumptions about relationships, how we experience them and how we expect others to relate to us and treat us, were created in our childhood experiences of relationships, aka our relationship with our mother or primary care-giver.

This relationship blueprint - which is filled with expectations of what a relationship is, our beliefs of how relationships are experienced and felt - is unconsciously projected and acted out in current-day and all future relationships after childhood. As the blueprint operates on an unconscious level, this influences how we 'consciously' relate to and react to other people's behaviour, actions and words towards us.

We start to interpret their behaviour, actions and words through the filter of our relationship blueprint. So their relationship towards us becomes clouded by our unconscious template, which is filled with our own past experiences of how we interpreted and made sense of those past relationships.

An example can be that if someone takes an hour to reply to your text message - based on your relationship blueprint - you will project and assign a meaning to that 1 hour 'gap'. For some people they can interpret that as being ignored or forgotten about. For others it can be interpreted as the other person being busy.

No one 'meaning' is not right or wrong. What is important to start to become aware of is the meanings and interpretations that you start to project and assign to someone's behaviour towards you. Because how you interpret and give meaning to someone's behaviour will result in how you react to their behaviour. This becomes the repeated pattern of your relationship blueprint being played out in the present, yet the blueprint itself is based upon a past relationship.

When we start to behave towards someone, based on our relationship blueprint, and we start to relate to someone in our present-day 'as if' unconsciously they were someone from our past - this projection from the past person/relationship onto the current/present relationship is known as transference.

Transference also happens in counselling, when we react & relate to our counsellor, based on our past relationship blueprint. We start to relate to our counsellor, unconsciously 'as if' they were someone from our past.

Malan's triangle of person is a model of how we can start to understand the transference onto our present-day, from our past, and from our current-day onto our counselling relationship with our counsellor.

Our July Book Group is happening on Thursday 30th July, 6pm-7.30pm. This will be an opportunity to explore and discuss Relationships, Attachments and Attachment styles and patterns. You don't need to have read our book of the month.

If you would like to register your free place to our Book Group, please email myira@myirakhancounselling.co.uk

#counselling #coaching #relationshipcoaching #therapeuticrelationship #relationships #attachments #attachmentpatterns #transference #unconscious #relationshipblueprints

June Book Group - Relationships and Attachment Patterns - 25th June

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Wed, 24 Jun 2020 14:01:46 GMT

Join us for our discussion on relationships and attachment patterns! A Book Group without needing to read the book!

Grow To Glow Book Group - A Book Group without needing to read the book!

Thursday 25th June 2020

6pm - 7pm

Online via Zoom

Join us for our discussion on relationships and attachment patterns. Learn more about your relationship blueprints and attachment patterns, how they show up and play out in your adult relationships and how you can move to responding from your adult-self instead of reacting from your child-self.

Book for reference and to learn more: Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller.

Email myira@myirakhancounselling.co.uk to book your place.

#relationships #attachment #attachmentpatterns #attachmenttheory #marriage #relationshipdynamics #childhood #adultrelationships

Follow Grow To Glow on Twitter @growtoglow_flow and on Instagram @growtoglow.flow

Anxious - Avoidant Attachment relationship chase and trap

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Tue, 23 Jun 2020 09:44:38 GMT

Why the chase and cycle keeps happening

The Anxious - Avoidant Attachment relationship chase

Do you ever find yourself either trying to close down or open up the 'space' between yourself and your partner?

Do you feel that you want to feel more closely connected and intimate with your partner or do you feel suffocated by their 'demands' of more emotional intimacy or closeness with you and you are left wanting some breathing space from them?

We each have our our internal relationship blueprint and attachment pattern. See previous posts which identify the 4 attachment patterns and find out which one you may have.

In each of the 4 attachment patterns, there is an optimum (safe and comfortable) level of closeness and intimacy each attachment pattern likes in relationships.

The anxious-attachment partner wants a close and intimate connection with their partner, which feels safe to them. The 'space' or gap between them is minimum.

The avoidant-attachment partner wants there to be a large gap or space between them and their partner. That space feels safe and comfortable to them.

One is not better than the other. Each feels comfortable and safe with their optimal amount of closeness and space between them and their partner.

The anxious-avoidant chase

The 'chase' (trap or cycle) of the anxoious-avoidant partnership gets triggered because the anxious partner in wanting a close and intimate connection with their partner, is always looking to close down the 'gap' and space between them and their partner, so that the anxious partner has reached their optimum level of closeness in the relationship, which is very little space or gap between them and their partner.

The avoidant partner feels that gap or space is getting too small, i.e. it no longer feels like their optimum level of comfortable space because the anxious partner is closing down the space between them. So the avoidant partner takes 'a step back' or moves back and away from the relationship in order to create their comfortable amount of space again.

This triggers the anxious partner, because of the avoidant partner taking a step back and creating the space, to the anxious anxious partner feeling or interpreting the widening gap as if their avoidant partner is rejecting or dismissing them or that there is a problem in the relationship.

To anxious partner, in seeking reassurance or 'answers' from the avoidant partner, as to why they are pulling away and creating the gap, the anxious partner tries to seek further closeness with the avoidant partner. Each time the anxious partner tries to seek reassurance and close the space between them, the more this triggers the avoidant partner to take further steps away and create more space in the relationship.

And this is the 'chase' of the anxious partner seeking reassurance and closing down the space (taking a step towards the partner) and the avoidant in return taking a step away from the relationship and widening up the gap and space.

This one-step towards the avoidant partner and then one-step away from the anxious partner becomes the anxious-avoidant trap and cycle that happens on an unconsicous level in the anxious-avoidant relationship dynamic, when an anxious and avoidant partners come together. Each one triggers the other's anxiety of either too little (unsafe) space between them for the avoidant partenr or too much (unsafe) space between them for the anxious partner. And so each tries to remedy this in their own way by taking a step towards or away from the other, to create their own optimum level of closeness and space.

If you relate to either being the anxious or avoidant partner, one way to stop this chase and cycle from reoccurng is for both partners to speak openly and honestly with one another about their feelings of intimacy and closeness, and what their own level of safe and comfortable closeness and space is within the relationship.

This helps the other partner from understanding that you each have a different comfort and optimum level of closeness and that the space or closeness you want is not a reflection of your feelings for your partner. It is easy for the anxious partner to interpret that space and distancing by the avoidant as a rejection of them. In return it is easy for the avoidant to interpret the closeness by the anxious as suffocating and overwhelming. Yet neither partner has the intention for the closeness or space to be interpreted in this way.

By being honest and explaining your own comfort levels in the relationship, each partner can support and understand the other as well as allowing the relationship to naturally unfold and grow.

Couples counselling can also offer you the safe space to explore your relationship and help you to understand this cycle if you find yourself in this trap.

Relationship and Attachment patterns is also the theme for our upcoming Grow To Glow June Book Group on Thursday 25th June at 6pm. To register for the Book Group, please email myira@myirakhancounselling.co.uk to reserve your place.

#relationships #attachment #attachmentpatterns #attachmenttheory #childhood #emotions #emotionalavailability #relationshipcoaching #marriage #partnership #intimacy #avoiance #anxiousattachment #avoidantattachment

Follow Grow To Glow on Twitter @growtoglow_flow and on Instagram @growtoglow.flow

Disorganised Attachment in Adult Relationships

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Fri, 19 Jun 2020 16:21:04 GMT

How our attachment pattern, created in childhood, shows up in our adult relationships.

Disorganised Attachment in Adult Relationships

Attachment refers to the particular way in which you relate to other people.

It is the way in which we perceive and respond to intimacy in a relationship.

Your style of attachment and attachment pattern was formed during the first two years of your life.

This pattern was created from the repeated experience of an attachment and relationship style your mother or primary care-giver gave you during those first 2 years of life.

What that experience of relating was and how emotionally available, predictable and consistent your mother / primary caregiver was or was not, results in a relationship and attachment pattern being established, experienced and internalised by the infant. This becomes the attachment pattern and relationship blueprint repeated in subsequent relationships.

Once established, it is a style that stays with you and plays out today in how you relate in intimate relationships and in how you parent your children.

Understanding your style of attachment is helpful because it offers you insight into how you felt and developed your understanding of relationships in your childhood and how these unconscious relationship and attachment patterns play out now in your adult relationships, particularly in your intimate partner relationships.

The Disorganised Attachment pattern is created from a relationship where:

•    The caregiver is abusive towards the infant, who experiences physical and emotional cruelty and frightening behaviour as being life-threatening.
•    The infant is caught in a dilemma where survival instincts are telling them to flee to safety but safety is also the parent who is terrifying.
•    The caregiver is the source of distress.
•    The infant disassociates from 'self', detaching from what is happening and what they are experiencing is blocked from their consciousness.

In adulthood a Disorganised Attachment pattern is repeated in current adult and partner relationships.

This shows up as an Adult who:

• Is fearful-avoidant attachment pattern
• Is detached from self as adult
• Experiences repressed feelings as if in the present relationship, as reliving an old trauma
• Has no coherent sense of self or clear connection with others

Relationship and Attachment patterns is also the theme for our upcoming Grow To Glow June Book Group on Thursday 25th June at 6pm. To register for the Book Group, please email myira@myirakhancounselling.co.uk to reserve your place.

#relationships #attachment #attachmentpatterns #attachmenttheory #childhood #emotions #emotionalavailability #relationshipcoaching #marriage #partnership #intimacy #avoiance #anxiousattachment #avoidantattachment

Follow Grow To Glow on Twitter @growtoglow_flow and on Instagram @growtoglow.flow

Disorganised Attachment - How the relationship is experienced in childhood

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Fri, 19 Jun 2020 16:20:54 GMT

What is a Disorganised Attachment pattern and how is it created in childhood?

Disorganised Attachment Pattern

There are 4 types of attachment patterns - secure, anxious, avoidant and disorganised.
We each have one of these types as our dominant pattern of relating and attaching to another person.

Your type of attachment and attachment pattern was formed during the first two years of your life.

This pattern was created from the repeated experience of an attachment and relationship style your mother or primary care-giver gave you during those first 2 years of life.

What that experience of relating felt like and how emotionally available, predictable and consistent your mother / primary caregiver was or was not, creates relationship and attachment pattern being established, experienced and internalised by the infant.

This becomes the attachment pattern and relationship blueprint repeated in subsequent relationships.

Of the 4 types of attachment pattern one is a secure attachment and the other three are types of insecure attachment:

The Disorganised Attachment pattern is created from a relationship where:

•    The caregiver is abusive towards the infant, who experiences physical and emotional cruelty and frightening behaviour as being life-threatening.
•    The infant is caught in a dilemma where survival instincts are telling them to flee to safety but safety is also the parent who is terrifying.
•    The caregiver is the source of distress.
•    The infant disassociates from 'self', detaching from what is happening and what they are experiencing is blocked from their consciousness.

One of the easiest ways to identify if this is your attachment pattern, is to think where you fit on these two spectrums:

1. Level of intimacy - the degree to how comfortable or uncomfortable (avoidant) you are with intimacy and closeness.

2. Level of attentiveness - the degree to how preoccupied or avoidant you are with the relationship and your partner.

The greater the degree of seeking closeness / intimacy and attentiveness / preoccupation is likely to indicate an anxious attachment pattern.

The greater the degree of avoidance of closeness/intimacy and attentiveness / preoccupation is likely to indicate an avoidant attachment pattern.

Low avoidance and low preoccupation is an indication of a secure attachment pattern.

Relationship and Attachment patterns is also the theme for our upcoming Grow To Glow June Book Group on Thursday 25th June at 6pm. To register for the Book Group, please email myira@myirakhancounselling.co.uk to reserve your place.

#relationships #attachment #attachmentpatterns #attachmenttheory #childhood #emotions #emotionalavailability #relationshipcoaching #marriage #partnership #intimacy #avoiance #anxiousattachment #avoidantattachment

Follow Grow To Glow on Twitter @growtoglow_flow and on Instagram @growtoglow.flow

Avoidant Attachment in Adult Relationships

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Thu, 18 Jun 2020 14:03:28 GMT

How our attachment pattern, created in childhood, shows up in our adult relationships.

Avoidant Attachment in Adult Relationships

Attachment refers to the particular way in which you relate to other people.

It is the way in which we perceive and respond to intimacy in a relationship.

Your style of attachment and attachment pattern was formed during the first two years of your life.

This pattern was created from the repeated experience of an attachment and relationship style your mother or primary care-giver gave you during those first 2 years of life.

What that experience of relating was and how emotionally available, predictable and consistent your mother / primary caregiver was or was not, results in a relationship and attachment pattern being established, experienced and internalised by the infant. This becomes the attachment pattern and relationship blueprint repeated in subsequent relationships.

Once established, it is a style that stays with you and plays out today in how you relate in intimate relationships and in how you parent your children.

Understanding your style of attachment is helpful because it offers you insight into how you felt and developed your understanding of relationships in your childhood and how these unconscious relationship and attachment patterns play out now in your adult relationships, particularly in your intimate partner relationships.

The Avoidant Attachment pattern is created from a relationship where:

•    The caregiver is emotionally unavailable, insensitive to and unaware of the needs of the infant
•    There is little or no response from the caregiver when the infant is hurting or distressed
•    The caregiver discourages crying and encourages independence in the infant
•    The infant becomes a “little adult”, taking care of themsleves, pulls away from needing anything from anyone and are self-contained.

In adulthood an Avoidant Attachment pattern is repeated in current adult and partner relationships.

This shows up as an Adult who:

Equates intimacy with a loss of independence
Has a dismissive attachment pattern
Avoids closeness & intimacy
Tends to be loners
Regards relationships & emotions as relatively unimportant
Represses their feelings
Responds to conflict by avoiding them & distancing self
Is inward and isolated, emotionally removed

Avoidant Attachment - How the relationship is experienced in childhood

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 11:44:16 GMT

What is an avoidant attachment pattern and how is it created in childhood?

Avoidant Attachment Pattern

There are 4 types of attachment patterns - secure, anxious, avoidant and disorganised.
We each have one of these types as our dominant pattern of relating and attaching to another person.

Your type of attachment and attachment pattern was formed during the first two years of your life.

This pattern was created from the repeated experience of an attachment and relationship style your mother or primary care-giver gave you during those first 2 years of life.

What that experience of relating felt like and how emotionally available, predictable and consistent your mother / primary caregiver was or was not, creates relationship and attachment pattern being established, experienced and internalised by the infant.

This becomes the attachment pattern and relationship blueprint repeated in subsequent relationships.

Of the 4 types of attachment pattern one is a secure attachment and the other three are types of insecure attachment:

The Avoidant Attachment pattern is created from a relationship where:

•    The caregiver is emotionally unavailable, insensitive to and unaware of the needs of the infant
•    There is little or no response from the caregiver when the infant is hurting or distressed
•    The caregiver discourages crying and encourages independence in the infant
•    The infant becomes a “little adult”, who takes care of themsleves, pulls away from needing anything from anyone and become self-contained.

One of the easiest ways to identify if this is your attachment pattern, is to think where you fit on these two spectrums:

1. Level of intimacy - the degree to how comfortable or uncomfortable (avoidant) you are with intimacy and closeness.

2. Level of attentiveness - the degree to how preoccupied or avoidant you are with the relationship and your partner.

The greater the degree of seeking closeness / intimacy and attentiveness / preoccupation is likely to indicate an anxious attachment pattern.

The greater the degree of avoidance of closeness/intimacy and attentiveness / preoccupation is likely to indicate an avoidant attachment pattern.

Low avoidance and low preoccupation is an indication of a secure attachment pattern.

Relationship and Attachment patterns is also the theme for our upcoming Grow To Glow June Book Group on Thursday 25th June at 6pm. To register for the Book Group, please email myira@myirakhancounselling.co.uk to reserve your place.

#relationships #attachment #attachmentpatterns #attachmenttheory #childhood #emotions #emotionalavailability #relationshipcoaching #marriage #partnership #intimacy #avoiance #anxiousattachment #avoidantattachment

Follow Grow To Glow on Twitter @growtoglow_flow and on Instagram @growtoglow.flow

Anxious Attachment in Adult Relationships

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Tue, 16 Jun 2020 18:49:22 GMT

How our attachment pattern, created in childhood, shows up in our adult relationships.

Anxious Attachment in Adult Relationships

Attachment refers to the particular way in which you relate to other people.

It is the way in which we perceive and respond to intimacy in a relationship.

Your style of attachment and attachment pattern was formed during the first two years of your life.

This pattern was created from the repeated experience of an attachment and relationship style your mother or primary care-giver gave you during those first 2 years of life.

What that experience of relating was and how emotionally available, predictable and consistent your mother / primary caregiver was or was not, results in a relationship and attachment pattern being established, experienced and internalised by the infant. This becomes the attachment pattern and relationship blueprint repeated in subsequent relationships.

Once established, it is a style that stays with you and plays out today in how you relate in intimate relationships and in how you parent your children.

Understanding your style of attachment is helpful because it offers you insight into how you felt and developed your understanding of relationships in your childhood and how these unconscious relationship and attachment patterns play out now in your adult relationships, particularly in your intimate partner relationships.

The Anxious Attachment pattern is created from a relationship where:

•    The caregiver is inconsistently attuned to the infant, either appropriate or nurturing at times but intrusive and insensitive at other times.
•    The infant is left confused and insecure, not knowing which to expect.
•    The infant feel suspicious and distrustful of the caregiver but at the same time acts clingy and desperate towards them.

In adulthood an Anxious Attachment pattern is repeated in current adult and partner relationships.

This shows up as an Adult:

Craves intimacy
Often preoccupied with their relationship
Worries about partner’s ability to love them back
Self-critical and insecure
Seeks approval and reassurance
Feels they are going to be rejected, makes them worried and not trusting, drives them to act clingy and over dependent
Leaves them turned against themselves and emotionally desperate in relationships

Anxious Attachment - How the relationship is experienced in childhood

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Mon, 15 Jun 2020 14:24:01 GMT

What is an anxious attachment pattern and how is it created in childhood?

Anxious Attachment Pattern

There are 4 types of attachment patterns - secure, anxious, avoidant and disorganised.
We each have one of these types as our dominant pattern of relating and attaching to another person.

Your type of attachment and attachment pattern was formed during the first two years of your life.

This pattern was created from the repeated experience of an attachment and relationship style your mother or primary care-giver gave you during those first 2 years of life.

What that experience of relating felt like and how emotionally available, predictable and consistent your mother / primary caregiver was or was not, creates relationship and attachment pattern being established, experienced and internalised by the infant.

This becomes the attachment pattern and relationship blueprint repeated in subsequent relationships.

Of the 4 types of attachment pattern one is a secure attachment and the other three are types of insecure attachment:

The Anxious Attachment pattern is created from a relationship where:

•    The caregiver is inconsistently attuned to the infant and is either appropriate or nurturing at times but intrusive and insensitive at other times.
•    The infant is left confused and insecure, not knowing which to expect.
•    The infant feels suspicious and distrustful of the caregiver but at the same time acts clingy and desperate towards them.

One of the easiest ways to identify if this is your attachment pattern, is to think where you fit on these two spectrums:

1. Level of intimacy - the degree to how comfortable or uncomfortable (avoidant) you are with intimacy and closeness.

2. Level of attentiveness - the degree to how preoccupied or avoidant you are with the relationship and your partner.

The greater the degree of seeking closeness / intimacy and attentiveness / preoccupation is likely to indicate an anxious attachment pattern.

The greater the degree of avoidance of closeness/intimacy and attentiveness / preoccupation is likely to indicate an avoidant attachment pattern.

Low avoidance and low preoccupation is an indication of a secure attachment pattern.

Relationship and Attachment patterns is also the theme for our upcoming Grow To Glow June Book Group on Thursday 25th June at 6pm. To register for the Book Group, please email myira@myirakhancounselling.co.uk to reserve your place.

#relationships #attachment #attachmentpatterns #attachmenttheory #childhood #emotions #emotionalavailability #relationshipcoaching #marriage #partnership #intimacy #avoiance #anxiousattachment #avoidantattachment

Follow Grow To Glow on Twitter @growtoglow_flow and on Instagram @growtoglow.flow

Secure Attachment in Adult Relationships

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Sun, 14 Jun 2020 12:12:08 GMT

How our attachment pattern, created in childhood, shows up in our adult relationships

Secure Attachment in Adult Relationships

Attachment refers to the particular way in which you relate to other people.

It is the way in which we perceive and respond to intimacy in a relationship.

Your style of attachment and attachment pattern was formed during the first two years of your life.

This pattern was created from the repeated experience of an attachment and relationship style your mother or primary care-giver gave you during those first 2 years of life.

What that experience of relating was and how emotionally available, predictable and consistent your mother / primary caregiver was or was not, results in a relationship and attachment pattern being established, experienced and internalised by the infant. This becomes the attachment pattern and relationship blueprint repeated in subsequent relationships.

Once established, it is a style that stays with you and plays out today in how you relate in intimate relationships and in how you parent your children.

Understanding your style of attachment is helpful because it offers you insight into how you felt and developed your understanding of relationships in your childhood and how these unconscious relationship and attachment patterns play out now in your adult relationships, particularly in your intimate partner relationships.

The Secure Attachment pattern is created from a relationship where:

•    the Infant forms an emotional attachment to an adult (their primary care-giver or mother), who in turn is attuned to the infant and is sensitive and responsive in their interactions with the infant
•    the Caregiver is consistently available and responsive to the infant's needs throughout the first 2 years of the infant's life
•    in the 2nd year of the infant's life, the caregiver becomes the secure base for the child to explore the world and become more independent
•    a secure attachment develops because the infant feels safe, seen and soothed

In adulthood a Secure Attachment pattern is repeated in current adult and partner relationships.

This shows up as an Adult:

•    being comfortable with intimacy, and are usually warm and loving towards their partner
•    having a strong sense of self
•    having a desire for close associations with others
•    having a positive view of self, partners and relationships
•    being secure in their independence and close relationships

• showing low avoidance and low preoccupation of the relationship and partner is an indication of a secure attachment pattern.

Secure Attachment - How the relationship is experienced in childhood

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Sun, 14 Jun 2020 11:31:49 GMT

What is a secure attachment pattern and how is it created in childhood?

Secure Attachment Pattern

There are 4 types of attachment patterns - secure, anxious, avoidant and disorganised.
We each have one of these types as our dominant pattern of relating and attaching to another person.

Your type of attachment and attachment pattern was formed during the first two years of your life.

This pattern was created from the repeated experience of an attachment and relationship style your mother or primary care-giver gave you during those first 2 years of life.

What that experience of relating felt like and how emotionally available, predictable and consistent your mother / primary caregiver was or was not, creates relationship and attachment pattern being established, experienced and internalised by the infant.

This becomes the attachment pattern and relationship blueprint repeated in subsequent relationships.

Of the 4 types of attachment pattern one is a secure attachment and the other three are types of insecure attachment:

The Secure Attachment pattern is created from a relationship where:

•    the Infant forms an emotional attachment to an adult (their primary care-giver or mother), who in turn is attuned to the infant and is sensitive and responsive in their interactions with the infant
•    the Caregiver is consistently available and responsive to the infant's needs throughout the first 2 years of the infant's life
•    in the 2nd year of the infant's life, the caregiver becomes the secure base for the child to explore the world and become more independent
•    a secure attachment develops because the infant feels safe, seen and soothed

One of the easiest ways to identify if this is your attachment pattern, is to think where you fit on these two spectrums:

1. Level of intimacy - the degree to how comfortable or uncomfortable (avoidant) you are with intimacy and closeness.

2. Level of attentiveness - the degree to how preoccupied or avoidant you are with the relationship and your partner.

The greater the degree of seeking closeness / intimacy and attentiveness / preoccupation is likely to indicate an anxious attachment pattern.

The greater the degree of avoidance of closeness/intimacy and attentiveness / preoccupation is likely to indicate an avoidant attachment pattern.

Low avoidance and low preoccupation is an indication of a secure attachment pattern.

Relationship and Attachment patterns is also the theme for our upcoming Grow To Glow June Book Group on Thursday 25th June at 6pm. To register for the Book Group, please email myira@myirakhancounselling.co.uk to reserve your place.

#relationships #attachment #attachmentpatterns #attachmenttheory #childhood #emotions #emotionalavailability #relationshipcoaching #marriage #partnership #intimacy #avoiance #anxiousattachment #avoidantattachment

Follow Grow To Glow on Twitter @growtoglow_flow and on Instagram @growtoglow.flow

4 Types of Attachment Patterns

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Fri, 12 Jun 2020 09:05:11 GMT

We all have a dominant attachment pattern - which one are you?

4 Types of Attachment Patterns

There are 4 types of attachment patterns.

We each have one of these types as our dominant pattern of relating and attaching to another person.

Your type of attachment and attachment pattern was formed during the first two years of your life.

This pattern was created from the repeated experience of an attachment and relationship style your mother or primary care-giver gave you during those first 2 years of life.

What that experience of relating felt like and how emotionally available, predictable and consistent your mother / primary caregiver was or was not, creates relationship and attachment pattern being established, experienced and internalised by the infant.

This becomes the attachment pattern and relationship blueprint repeated in subsequent relationships.

Of the 4 types of attachment pattern one is a secure attachment and the other three are types of insecure attachment:

The 4 types of attachment pattern:

1. Secure attachment

•    Infant forms a emotional attachment to an adult who is attuned to them, sensitive and responsive in their interactions with them
•    Caregiver is consistent throughout the first 2 years of infant's life
•    In the 2nd year the caregiver becomes the secure base for the child to explore the world and become more independent
•    For a secure attachment to develop, the infant must feel safe, seen and soothed

2. (Insecure) Anxious Attachment

•    The caregiver is inconsistently attuned to the infant, either appropriate or nurturing at times but intrusive and insensitive at other times.
•    The infant is left confused and insecure, not knowing which to expect.
•    The infant feel suspicious and distrustful of the caregiver but at the same time acts clingy and desperate towards them.

3. (Insecure) Avoidant Attachment

•    The caregiver is emotionally unavailable, insensitive to and unaware of the needs of the infant
•    There is little or no response from th caregiver when the infant is hurting or distressed
•    The caregiver discourages crying and encourages independence in the infant
•    The infant becomes a “little adult”, taking care of themsleves, pulls away from needing anything from anyone and are self-contained.

4. (Insecure) Disorganzied Attachment

•    The caregiver is abusive towards the infant, who experiences physical and emotional cruelty and frightening behaviour as being life-threatening.
•    The infant is caught in a dilemma where survival instincts are telling them to flee to safety but safety is also the parent who is terrifying.
•    The caregiver is the source of distress.
•    The caregiver disassociates from 'self', detaching from what is happening and what they are experiencing is blocked from their consciousness.

One of the easiest ways to identify which type is your dominant attachment pattern, is to think where you fit on these two spectrums:

1. Level of intimacy - the degree to how comfortable or uncomfortable (avoidant) you are with intimacy and closeness.

2. Level of attentiveness - the degree to how preoccupied or avoidant you are with the relationship and your partner.

The greater the degree of seeking closeness / intimacy and attentiveness / preoccupation is likely to indicate an anxious attachment pattern.

The greater the degree of avoidance of closeness/intimacy and attentiveness / preoccupation is likely to indicate an avoidant attachment pattern.

Low avoidance and low preoccupation is an indication of a secure attachment pattern.

In future posts we'll be exploring each of these attachment types and how they are experienced and created in infancy and how the attachment patterns replays and shows up in adult relationships.

Attachment Patterns

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Wed, 10 Jun 2020 19:05:49 GMT

How attachment patterns are developed in childhood

Attachment Patterns

Attachment refers to the particular way in which you relate to other people. It’s the way in which we perceive and respond to intimacy.

Your style of attachment and attachment pattern was formed during the first two years of your life.

This pattern was created from the repeated experience of an attachment and relationship style your mother or primary care-giver gave you during those first 2 years of life.

This becomes the attachment pattern and relationship blueprint repeated in subsequent relationships.

Once established, it is a style that stays with you and plays out today in how you relate in intimate relationships and in how you parent your children.

There are 4 attachment styles: Secure, Anxious, Avoidant and Disorganised.

We'll be exploring each one in turn in upcoming posts and podcasts, and in our upcoming Grow To Glow June Book Group on Thursday 25th June at 6pm. To register for the Book Group, please email myira@myirakhancounselling.co.uk to reserve your place.

#relationships #attachment #attachmentpatterns #attachmenttheory #childhood #emotions #emotionalavailability #relationshipcoaching #marriage #partnership #intimacy

Follow Grow To Glow on Twitter @growtoglow_flow and on Instagram @growtoglow.flow

Adult relationships: Responding or reacting in relationships

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Tue, 09 Jun 2020 11:25:48 GMT

Are you responding from your adult-self or reacting from your child-self?

Relationships - Responding from our 'adult-self' or reacting from our 'child-self'

We all have an internal and unconscious relationship 'blueprint' and attachment pattern, which was established through our infancy and childhood relationship experiences with our mother or primary care-giver.

This blueprint becomes the template which we use for relating to other people and which we carry into all of our adult relationships.

If we are unaware of the blueprint, we are unaware of the triggers, patterns, core beliefs and automatic ways we react to others. We become reactive to how others relate to us because we are using our blueprint as a way to understand, make meaning of, and react in return.

By using the blueprint as the basis of how we relate to others, we are using our 'childhood' experiences of relationships, from which to understand how this current adult is relating towards us, and so we react and relate from our 'child-self'.

To respond from our 'adult-self' is to become aware of our blueprint and to understand how we view relationships, what our childhood experiences of relationships were like and how we felt in relationships. This helps us to understand what messages and core beliefs we started to tell ourselves about what a relationship was and how it was felt and experienced.

For example we may have experienced a relationship in which the other person was experienced as being emotionally unavailable or unresponsive to our needs. This may have led us to believe that our needs were unimportant and our needs are not met in a relationship.

This becomes a core belief in our relationship blueprint, and so in all future relationships, in applying this blueprint, we believe that this new person will also behave in the same way, and we believe the same experience and relationship pattern will happen again.

So we go into the relationship believing that our needs are unimportant and will not be met, so we don't speak up for our needs or ask for what we need from the other person. And so we start the relationship from this premise and in doing so we have already abandoned our needs even before the relationship has begun.

In understanding our own relationship and attachment pattern, it can help us to unpick the unconscious and default position (or blueprint) we start relationships from and in doing so we can start to relate and respond from our 'adult-self' instead of from a default 'child-self' blueprint or pattern of reacting.

Coming up in our next posts we will be exploring more about the different relationship attachment patterns and helping you to identify which one may be your dominant pattern and how that shows up in your adult relationships.

Relationship and attachment patterns is also the focus of this month's Grow To Glow Book Group on Thursday 25th June at 6pm. It is an opportunity to explore and discuss the topic and also refering to this month's Book of the Month - Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller. To register your place at this month's Book Group please email myira@myirakhancounselling.co.uk

#relationships #attachment #attachmentpattern #relationshipblueprint #relationshipcoaching #GrowToGlow

Follow Grow To Glow on Twitter @growtoglow_flow and on Instagram @growtoglow.flow

June's theme of the month - Relationships and Attachments

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Thu, 04 Jun 2020 18:18:08 GMT

Understanding relationships and how to build healthy relationships

June's theme of the month is Relationships and Attachments

We'll be sharing blogs, posts and podcast episodes on all things to do with relationships including attachment patterns . . . why you find yourself in the same relationship ruts or repeated patterns . . . how to develop your connections with others and with your Self . . . how to practice healthy boundaries in relationships . . . understanding narcissistic relationships . . . and much more!

#relationships #attachments #connections #toxicrelationships #selcare #wellbeing #healthyrelationships #boundaries #narcissism

Follow Grow to Glow on Twitter @growtoglow_flow and on Instagram @growtoglow.flow

Attachments in relationships

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Thu, 04 Jun 2020 17:06:57 GMT

Knowing our attachment style in relationships

Attachment refers to the particular way in which you relate and attach to other people.

Your style of attachment was formed during the first two years of your life.

Once established, it is a style that stays with you and plays out today in how you relate to others in adulthood and in your intimate relationships.

Understanding your style of attachment is helpful because it allows you to understand how you respond to intimacy and connection in adult relationships and how you unconsciously play out a repeated pattern of relating to others.

We'll be exploring the different attachment styles in future posts and throughout the month as we discuss the theme of relationship and attachment patterns.

To join our Book Group this month where we'll be discussing attachment patterns, please email myira@myirakhancounselling.co.uk to register your free place.

June's Book Group is taking place on Thursday 25th June at 6pm.

#relationships #connections #attachments #patterns #relating #partnerships #marriage #love #couples #intimacy #GrowToGlow #therapeuticoaching #relationshipcoaching

Follow Grow To Glow on Twitter @growtoglow_flow and on Instagram @growtoglow.flow

May Podcast - Internal Saboteur and Procrastination

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Sun, 31 May 2020 22:05:09 GMT

Listen to the first podcast episode - discussing ways to beat your internal saboteur and procrastination!

Learn about ways you self-sabotage and end up in the procrastination cycle.

Find ways to take those steps towards your goals, reach the finish line in your tasks and projects and not get distracted by procrastination!

#wellbeing #selfcare #growth #success #personaldevelopment #selfsabotage #GrowToGlow #therapeuticcoaching

Announcing June's Theme and Book of the Month - YouTube video

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Fri, 29 May 2020 12:21:34 GMT

Find out June's Theme, Book of the Month and Book Group - join us throughout the month as we discuss them!

Announcing June's Theme is Relationships and Attachment patterns.

Throughout the month I'll be sharing, discussing and reflecting with you on Relationships and Attachment patterns.

This forms a core part of my work with counselling and coaching clients, to help them to create happy and healthy relationships, with themselves and others!

Our Book of the Month is Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller.
Our Book Group is on Thursday 25th June at 6pm (UK time).

To register for the book group please email myira@myirakhancounselling.co.uk

#wellbeing #selfcare #connections #relationships #attachment #attachmenttheory #attachmentpatterns #adultrelationships #healthyrelationships #blueprints #boundaries #happiness

Procrastination Street

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Wed, 27 May 2020 13:03:56 GMT

Procrastination Street - Understanding the viscious cycle of how our internal saboteur leads us up procrastination street and ways to stop it from happening!

Our internal saboteur (or inner critic) can trick us in many ways to lead us up procrastination street!

Our internal saboteur can quickly identify and point out many other tasks that all of a sudden need your attention and it becomes vitally important that you engage and complete these tasks straight away! In fact they become more important that the real task at hand!

But why? Why do we allow ourselves to be lead up procrastination street in the first place?

When we first think about the real task at hand and imagine ourselves starting, engaging or completing the task, we can very quickly visualise and think about all the difficulties and challenges that may be in our way of completing the task and what we would have to face or overcome in order to finish the task.

Even if we were to take the first steps in our task, thoughts of possible failure can come to mind! Whether that is failure in attempting the task itself and having to give up or the fear of failure once it's complete and being marked or scrutinised by others or the lack of success in it's launch or implementation - the fear of it not working!

It is these thoughts about the difficulties or challenges you may face in attempting the task or fear of failure in your attempt or completion of the task, which starts the journey towards procrastination street!

Our negative feelings or fear trigger our distraction impulse, i.e. our need to be distracted by an alternative task and therefore our interal saboteur kicks in and starts to lead us towards procrastination street!

So we find ourselves dealing with a less challenging or more pleasant task. Whilst this may lead to a temporary relief from the real task, our feelings about the real task will eventually re-emerge as we think about the task that we still to tackle, and very often the fear or challenge can be felt stronger each time we distract, procrastinate and then think about the real task again.

This cycle of: fear/difficulty of the real task > leading to avoidance / procrastination > leading to fear/difficulty of the real task = creates a viscious cycle of avoidance or procrastination each time we try to attempt tackling the real task.

We only break this cycle if we either abandon the real task or project completely or we complete the project at the last minute and up to the deadline (which usually doesn't feel good!)

But how about breaking this cycle completely?

So that every time you have a task to complete, your fears or thoughts of the difficulties or challenges of completing the task do not sabaotage your success, and your internal saboteur is not triggered into action!

3 ways to stop your internal saboteur leading you up procrastination street:

1. Be clear and specific in what your task is. Identify the actual task you want to complete rather than a general idea of what you would like to do.

2. Create a definite and specific plan of action. Having identified the overall task / aim of your project, write out the list of specific steps you need to take in order to complete your task or project.

3. Schedule when and how you will complete each step. Include the time/date, what action you will take and what resources or support you will need to complete each step.

These pro-active actions support you to be prepared to tackle each step rather than being put off by the task feeling too difficult, challenging or overwhelming. You are setting yourself up for success at each step - so your fear of failure also diminishes!

And remember to celebrate each step you take - for every step is a success!

Ways of dealing with our internal saboteur and breaking this cycle will be the focus of our Grow To Glow Book Group, which is taking place this Thursday 28th May at 6pm (UK time) via Zoom.

To register for your place on our Book Group please email myira@myirakhancounselling.co.uk

#procrastination #goals #achievement #goaldigger #barrierstosuccess #wellbeing #lifehacks #selfcare #growth #development #fulfillment #planner #organised #BookGroup #coaching #TherapeuticCoaching

#KindnessMatters

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Sun, 24 May 2020 16:55:06 GMT

Are you giving yourself the same kindness you give you to others?

#kindness to others feels good yes!

#kindness to how we treat animals and our environment feels good yes!

But do you know what will ensure that we continue to treat people, animals and nature with kindness?

Kindness to ourselves!

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By allowing kindness to come to us in a fulfilling, unlimited and abundant flow, we fill ourselves up constantly, with a beautiful energy that we get to share with our loved ones, our family, our friends, our pets and the whole world around us!

And how kind is that? That we get to put such beauty into the world!? ��

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For what I see in you is a reflection of me!

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To the beautiful women in this photo, shine bright and be your awesome, amazing and kind selves! ��

Follow these kind and beautiful souls over on instagram!

@nillydahlia

@zahra.patrycja
@multiculturalmotherhood
@freyasfunnyfeeling
@simply.israa
@embracecoachingwomen
@drjulietanton
@minimindfulmuslims
@spiritual.psychologist

@myirakhancounselling

@growtoglow.flow

@a_bitofpink

@irambintsafia

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#kindness #kindnessmatters #MHAW #mentalhealthawarenessweek #GrowToGlow #flowfilment #energy #wellbeing #selfcare #emotionalhealth #lifehacks #positivemindset #personaldevelopment #growth #abundance #lawofattraction #faith #spirituality #soulfood #connections #womensupportingwomen #sisterhood #tribe #coaching

May Book Group - Internal Saboteurs

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Sun, 24 May 2020 11:31:54 GMT

Book Group - a place to meet and discuss this month's theme - procrastionation and internal sabotage, what is it & how to beat it!

May Book Group - Thursday 28th May 2020, 6pm-7pm

Join us for this month's book group!

Theme for discussion: Internal saboteurs, procrastination, inner critic and barriers to prevent success and achievements. How to deal with procrastination and start making those steps towards your goals!

Book of the Month: The Little Saboteur by Marco von Munchhausen

Attendees do not need to have read this month's book of the month.

The group is to discuss the themes rasied by the book and to find pro-active ways to implement the steps to beat procrastination and your internal critical voice, which stops you working on your goals!

To register your free place at this month's book group, email myira@myirakhancounselling.co.uk to register!

#bookgroup #wellbeing #selfcare #growth #personaldevelopment #goaldigger #GrowToGlow #glowbig #shinebright #procrastination #innercritic #success #goals

To follow Grow To Glow on Twitter: @growtoglow_flow and on Instagram: @growtoglow.flow

#KindnessMatters to You and Others

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Fri, 22 May 2020 19:39:37 GMT

Showing kindness to your Self is just as important as showing kindness to others!

When I ask you to think of all the people you show kindness towards, how long before you say 'myself'?

We often don't give or show ourselves kindness, when we have a strong inner critic, that is quick to punish, criticise, reject or dismiss our efforts.

That inner critic, who is our internal saboteur, ready to pounce on any hope or decision we take when we identify goals or dreams that we wish to work towards and accomplish.

That inner critic is quick to throw in our path numerous blocks, barriers and obstacles to stop us from taking one step towards achievement or accomplishment.

And we might think that these obstacles or barriers may be clear to see, that they are like large roadsigns in front of us saying 'no entry', 'no through road' or 'follow diversion'.

That we would clearly see these signs upcoming ahead of us and to find an alternative route or diversion around then.

But the diffculty is not that we have these roadsigns but rather the lack of them! That they are no clearly signed, luminous, glow in the dark, easy to spot and read barriers telling us that we can't proceed!

Instead our barriers show up as that inner voice, like a satnav guiding you to a new destination and instructing you which direction to take, to take a left at the lights and then the second right and you'll see your destination up ahead.

And if we try to remember the route we have taken it can be difficult when we become reliant on the other 'voice' to guide us when we don't know the route to take!

Whilst we may have identified the final destination, i.e. our goal or aim, it is our unconscious internal satnav that is guiding us from A to B.

The problem with relying soley on our satnav is that our satnav is 'programmed' not just by our conscious thoughts but also by our unconscious experiences, feelings, thoughts, ideas, meanings, understanding, memories . . . and the voices of other people who we have internalised and taken in as part of our own voice . . . that critical parent or teacher . . . that bully who made you feel not good enough . . . thoughts that become your own and thoughts you may start to believe and speak to yourself in the same manner!

Our inner critic then doesn't show up as a looming road sign but instead as an internal saboteur telling your self "it can't be done" . . . "it's too difficult" . . . "I'll never manage it" . . . how familar does that tone sound to you?

Do you find yourself throwing those roadblocks in your way by how you or your internal saboteur is speaking to yourself?

Tell me, how kind does that feel to you?

How supportive and encouraging?

How helpful and motivating is that for you, to take the first step in working towards your goals?

It is said 'in a world where you can be anything, be kind' . . . I would like to say to you 'in a world where you can be anything, be kind to yourself and others'!

If you would like to join me for this month's book club, on Thursday 28th May at 6pm on Zoom, where we will be discussing how to deal with our internal saboture, including hints and tips on how we can overcome procrastination and that inner critic voice, please email me on myira@myirakhancounselling.co.uk to reserve your free place! The book club is open to all and does not require you to have read this month's book (The Little Saboteur by Marco von Munchhausen) as it's a discussion on the themes of the book - internal saboteur, inner critic, procrastination and how to deal with them!

You can follow Myira's Grow To Glow coaching work on Twitter @growtoglow_flow and on Instagram @growtoglow.flow

#wellbeing #selfcare #kindness #KindnessMatters #mentalhealthawarenessweek #innercritic #saboteur #procrastination #goaldigger #coaching #therapeuticcoaching #personaldevelopment #growth #achievement #goals #GrowToGlow

Playing Small Vs Glowing Bright

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Tue, 19 May 2020 19:23:03 GMT

People pleasing or pleasing self?

You can choose to stay small, so that you keep others comfortable with their level of success and they in return are comfortable with you staying exactly where you are!

Or you can choose to glow big and shine bright, so that you are focused upon your own growth and successes, instead of people pleasing!

By staying small, not taking risks, yes you won't ever make a mistake or make a fool of yourself ... but you will also not create a happy and fulfilled life for yourself!

Your inner saboteur (which can be disguised as people pleasing or worrying about what other's may think of you) keeps you putting off pursuing your dreams, keeping you rooted to the same place in your development, progress or career, and you end up on a plateau in your life, leaving you feeling flat, demotivated and bored!

So take those risks! Dare yourself to take that next step! Your happiness is more than other people's opinion of you and how they think you should be living your life (because what they think is a reflection of their limits not yours!)

#wellbeing #goals #selfcare #growth #lifehacks #saboteur #innercritic #peoplepleasing #career #shinebright #development #fulfilment #playbig #dreams #amibitions #growtoglow #coaching #therapeuticcoaching #myirakhancounselling #myirakhancoaching

Follow Grow To Glow on Twitter @growtoglow_flow and on Instagram @growtoglow.flow

Our inner saboteur is the gatekeeper between comfort zone and growth

mkcounselling@yahoo.com (Myira Khan) — Sun, 17 May 2020 12:27:59 GMT

Inner saboteurs can stop us from living to our fullest!

Sometimes we get stuck in our comfort zone, because our internal saboteur becomes the gatekeeper or bouncer between our comfort zone & our growth!

What does your bouncer say to you?

What messages do you hear that keeps you inside your comfort zone?

What stops you from taking that next step towards your goals?

Sometimes it's a feeling that can stop us - fear, worry, anxiety, shame, guilt, embarassment - keeping us feeling small or shrinking oursleves to fit in!

Sometimes we have to see the bigger picture and the full potential of our lives and our dreams and ambitions!

To have the courage to live at our fullest, brightest and happiest!

Join us throughtout this month and at our #bookofthemonth #virtualbookclub on 28th May, to find ways to beat our inner saboteur and override our own limiting beliefs and procrastination, which stops us from fully achieving or embracing our dreams and potential!

#Procrastination #sabotage #wellbeing #growth #personaldevelopment #goals #selfcare #limits #shinebright #internalsaboteur #bookofthemonth #bookclub #tribe #support #dreams #coaching #therapeuticcoaching