#KindnessMatters to You and Others

Myira Khan • 22 May 2020

Showing kindness to your Self is just as important as showing kindness to others!

When I ask you to think of all the people you show kindness towards, how long before you say 'myself'?

We often don't give or show ourselves kindness, when we have a strong inner critic, that is quick to punish, criticise, reject or dismiss our efforts.

That inner critic, who is our internal saboteur, ready to pounce on any hope or decision we take when we identify goals or dreams that we wish to work towards and accomplish.

That inner critic is quick to throw in our path numerous blocks, barriers and obstacles to stop us from taking one step towards achievement or accomplishment.

And we might think that these obstacles or barriers may be clear to see, that they are like large roadsigns in front of us saying 'no entry', 'no through road' or 'follow diversion'.

That we would clearly see these signs upcoming ahead of us and to find an alternative route or diversion around then.

But the diffculty is not that we have these roadsigns but rather the lack of them! That they are no clearly signed, luminous, glow in the dark, easy to spot and read barriers telling us that we can't proceed!

Instead our barriers show up as that inner voice, like a satnav guiding you to a new destination and instructing you which direction to take, to take a left at the lights and then the second right and you'll see your destination up ahead.

And if we try to remember the route we have taken it can be difficult when we become reliant on the other 'voice' to guide us when we don't know the route to take!

Whilst we may have identified the final destination, i.e. our goal or aim, it is our unconscious internal satnav that is guiding us from A to B.

The problem with relying soley on our satnav is that our satnav is 'programmed' not just by our conscious thoughts but also by our unconscious experiences, feelings, thoughts, ideas, meanings, understanding, memories . . . and the voices of other people who we have internalised and taken in as part of our own voice . . . that critical parent or teacher . . . that bully who made you feel not good enough . . . thoughts that become your own and thoughts you may start to believe and speak to yourself in the same manner!

Our inner critic then doesn't show up as a looming road sign but instead as an internal saboteur telling your self "it can't be done" . . . "it's too difficult" . . . "I'll never manage it" . . . how familar does that tone sound to you?

Do you find yourself throwing those roadblocks in your way by how you or your internal saboteur is speaking to yourself?

Tell me, how kind does that feel to you?

How supportive and encouraging?

How helpful and motivating is that for you, to take the first step in working towards your goals?

It is said 'in a world where you can be anything, be kind' . . . I would like to say to you 'in a world where you can be anything, be kind to yourself and others'!

If you would like to join me for this month's book club, on Thursday 28th May at 6pm on Zoom, where we will be discussing how to deal with our internal saboture, including hints and tips on how we can overcome procrastination and that inner critic voice, please email me on myira@myirakhancounselling.co.uk to reserve your free place! The book club is open to all and does not require you to have read this month's book (The Little Saboteur by Marco von Munchhausen) as it's a discussion on the themes of the book - internal saboteur, inner critic, procrastination and how to deal with them!

You can follow Myira's Grow To Glow coaching work on Twitter @growtoglow_flow and on Instagram @growtoglow.flow

#wellbeing #selfcare #kindness #KindnessMatters #mentalhealthawarenessweek #innercritic #saboteur #procrastination #goaldigger #coaching #therapeuticcoaching #personaldevelopment #growth #achievement #goals #GrowToGlow

< Older Post Newer Post >